Blog Six Realistic Steps to Stop Negative Self-Talk

Six Realistic Steps to Stop Negative Self-Talk

02/13/2023


Negative self-talk affects your life more than you imagine. Without even realizing it, we turn into our own worst enemies and deprive ourselves of confidence and tranquility. If left unchecked, this lack of optimism can affect our health, leaving us worried and stressed out and unable to unwind.

Negative self-talk can have serious spiritual effects. It can lead to feelings of unworthiness, shame, guilt, and depression, all of which can lead to further issues, such as decreased motivation and a lack of love for oneself, and thus for others. It can also lead to a lack of trust in God and a lack of connection with one's spiritual self. Negative self-talk can also lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, which can lead to further spiritual distress. Therefore, It's important to address this habit and change it - the sooner the better.

It's actually simpler to fix than you might imagine. Positive self-talk and implementing these six doable steps provide the foundation. 

Take Notes

A great way to gain control over your thoughts is to keep a journal. Try outputting your thoughts from the day in writing before going to bed. When you're trying to fall asleep, this enables you to let go of emotions that might otherwise fester if left unchecked. You can get an idea of where you are by going back and reading those entries. It's possible that you've been more negative lately than you realized.

Simply Reject

Your task is to prevent the negative thoughts from developing when you catch them in your head. Immediately reject negative self-talk as soon as you notice it. If you have to, say the word, "Stop," aloud.

Snap Back

To stop negative thoughts, psychologists have long recommended this therapy. Wrap a loose rubber band around your wrist. Every time you have a bad thought, just snap the rubber band. Your automatic stopping of those thoughts to avoid the "punishment" will eventually become a habit.

Try the following three steps to put constructive self-talk into practice:

Reduce the Volume

Instead of "stupid," perhaps you were "mistaken," what word can you substitute to lessen the blow? Perhaps you're thoughtful instead of slow. By being mindful of your language, you'll naturally use more positive self-talk.

Change Sides

Make a game out of it. Every time you hear yourself making a statement in your head, try to rephrase it so that it is neutral or even positive. Find out how many of these thoughts you can alter.

Inquire About Everything

Turn negative presumptions into questions rather than being listened to. In contrast to statements, which are already conclusive, questions seek solutions. For instance, "That's impossible," can become, "How can I make that possible?"

You'll learn that life looks different if you keep track of what you do and take intentional action to alter the situation. You'll more at ease and even capable of being optimisti, and begin to like yourself a little more. In time, you may realize the potential you've had all along.







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Hello Friends!

Hi, my name is Melissa Ebken, and I'm so glad you found your way here. 

I am at home in the difficult spaces of peoples’ lives, willing to listen and to support those who work to grow themselves. I am a trained coach and have consulted with churches in conflict. Not your stereotypical minister, I embrace the Gospel with joy and laughter as I seek to help those around me grow in faith and understanding, always striving to leave people better than they came. An agent of wholeness, I create a safe space for people, especially those who have been marginalized, where they can understand how ridiculously loved and valued they are by God/Higher Power/Spirit, and to experience the difference that makes in life. 

I started the Pursuing Uncomfortable Podcast to share the stories of people who have faced life's most difficult challenges, to inspire you to lean into and overcome your own. It's helpful to know that you're not alone in your struggles and to see how others have navigated similar circumstances. You can listen to it here.
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