Blog How Do You Self-Sabotage?

How Do You Self-Sabotage?


    I have found that resentment and outright hostility keep me from growing as a person. This is hardly a revelation, I would imagine we all know this. So why do we do it? Why do we hold grudges and nurture ill feelings? Ha! Probably for the same reasons we tend to have a second desert or talk ourselves out of a workout. It's SO EASY to talk ourselves into stagnancy. It's another thing altogether to talk ourselves into growth and accomplishment. You know what helps me stay focused and moving forward? 
   A coach! Two of them, actually. One coach, Cory, he and I schedule with each other every couple of weeks so that we can practice our coaching craft and give constructive feedback to each other. Chris is a coach I pay who challenges me professionally to dig deeper, think bigger, and use my gifts for the benefit of my churches and communities. Both help me to dismantle old habits and practices I have built up that hinder me from moving forward and taking action.
   How many bricks have you stacked in front of you that hinder your progress? A bad habit here, a denial of your worth there, doubt in yourself on top of that... Before you know it, you have built a system of self-sabotage that keeps you stuck where you are. Coaching changes that. Through coaching, you will identify those bricks and break through the wall that holds you back.

Your Partner In Spiritual Health,


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Hello Friends!

Hi, my name is Melissa Ebken, and I'm so glad you found your way here. 

I am at home in the difficult spaces of peoples’ lives, willing to listen and to support those who work to grow themselves. I am a trained coach and have consulted with churches in conflict. Not your stereotypical minister, I embrace the Gospel with joy and laughter as I seek to help those around me grow in faith and understanding, always striving to leave people better than they came. An agent of wholeness, I create a safe space for people, especially those who have been marginalized, where they can understand how ridiculously loved and valued they are by God/Higher Power/Spirit, and to experience the difference that makes in life. 

I started the Pursuing Uncomfortable Podcast to share the stories of people who have faced life's most difficult challenges, to inspire you to lean into and overcome your own. It's helpful to know that you're not alone in your struggles and to see how others have navigated similar circumstances. You can listen to it here.

Here's what I can do for and with you.


  • Coaching - this is a one-time or ongoing supportive relationship focused on you and your goals and hopes for the future




Transformative Mediation

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